Love is a curious, beautiful, and wonderful thing. We’ve all experienced love in one way or another, through our parents or grandparents, through our siblings or cousins, through our friends and extended family, and through our romantic relationships.
It’s hard sometimes to fully express to someone the magnitude and depth of how much you truly love them. Though words are an incredible means of telling them your love for them, sometimes words just simply aren’t enough. Words can fail us when trying to capture the full essence and picture of true love.
Love is more than butterflies or a smile when you see someone. Love is heart-pounding and electrifying, and it looks like sacrificing for someone because of your love for them, fully giving your heart to them, and being in awe of who they are as a person.
So how can you tell someone all of the emotions and love you’re feeling other than saying those three little words? There have to be other ways to communicate this massive feeling, right? You are right! There are many ways you can tell someone you love them without even saying it.
Communication goes beyond words. Wondering how? You’ve come to the best place—we’ve got a curated list of great ways on how you can tell someone you love them without even saying it.
How Is Communication More Than Just Words?
Our first initial thought when we think of communication is probably talking or writing. Communication is usually the exchange of words, right? Not entirely. The actual definition of communication is, “The act of process of using words, sounds, signs, or behaviors to express or exchange information or to express your ideas, thoughts, feelings, etc., to someone else.”
As you see, communication goes beyond just words and also involves behaviors or signs. There is also nonverbal communication. The different types of nonverbal communication include:
- Facial expressions
- Paralinguistics such as loudness or tone of voice
- Body language
- Proxemics, also known as personal space
- Eye gaze
- Haptics, also known as touch
From our handshakes, to how we dress, to the use of eye contact, all of these gestures reveal a lot about ourselves and others. When thinking of romantic relationships and how to say to your partner how much you love them without really saying it, it’s important to know the different types of gestures you can do this by.
Nonverbal communication cues, or the way you listen, look, move or react, tell the person you’re communicating with a great deal. Such as whether or not you care about what they’re saying if you’re being truthful with them, and how well you’re actually listening. When the nonverbal signals match up with the words you do say, this increases trust, clarity, and rapport and can make any relationship stronger. But when they don’t, this can increase tension, mistrust, and cause confusion.
All of these gestures have the ability to communicate to your loved ones that you love them. Pay attention to them so that you can make sure they know that! A few of the ways you can tell your partner you love them without verbally saying it is:
- Your body language towards them—turn your body towards them while in conversation. This communicates genuine interest.
- Eye contact during conversation.
Facial expressions towards them. If you’re always making a weird face or annoyed face while with them, this will not communicate love.
- Physical touch. Putting your arm around them while you wait in line at the grocery store or reaching for their hand as you walk home—these are great, intentional ways to communicate nonverbally.
What are some other practical gestures and ways you can communicate to someone you love without saying it? Read on to learn more specific tools you can implement in your relationship!
Show Up for Them
Without even having to say it, when you’re there for someone, lifting their head when they’re down, being a shoulder to cry on, a confidante and friend, and being their person, that communicates love.
Showing up for someone means a multitude of things. It means following through on commitments, such as if you agreed to do date night on Saturday, you do everything in your power to make sure date night goes down on Saturday.
It means being there when they need someone to talk to, vent to, or just cry to. Consistent behavior communicates to your partner that you’ll always be there, no matter what, and this makes them feel extremely loved, valued, and appreciated.
Did their car break down? Offer to pick them up and help sort it all out. Did their grandmother just pass away? Be there to hold their hand and offer your shoulder to cry on if they need it.
Did they just get a huge promotion at work? Celebrate them by doing something you know they’ll love and make sure they know how proud you are of them. Be there, through the good and the bad. They’ll be sure to feel the love.
Be Their Friend
Romantic relationships are usually built upon an already existing friendship. That’s how it should be! Your partner should be your friend, too. With just the added bonus of kisses.
When you start to date someone, you don’t stop being their friend. Most people in relationships would probably say that their partner is also their best friend too. Which makes a lot of sense since that person does many of the same things as a friend would do.
Here are a few ways you can be a good friend to your partner:
Check-in with them about their day. Ask them what their favorite parts of their day were and maybe not so favorite parts.
Have fun together! Do activities that you know will be fun for the both of you, like hitting up the skating rink or racing each other with go-karts.
Spend quality time together. Know the difference between time spent together and quality time spent together. Quality time hanging out doesn’t involve sitting on the couch together scrolling through your phones. It means being intentional with the time you have and spending it doing something together.
Be a source of encouragement. Encouraging your partner to follow their dreams, take risks when needed, or that they’re doing the best they can is a great way to be a good friend to them.
Know Their Love Languages
A person’s love language is an incredibly important thing to know so that you can make sure you’re loving them in the way that they will best receive it. If you’re unaware of what love languages are, they were developed by Dr. Gary Chapman, Ph.D., who is an author and counselor, and they have been the cornerstone for knowing your partner better and on a deeper level.
We all feel and receive love in different ways. You might be used to always doing acts of service for your partner, and though they appreciate it, they might not feel loved in that specific way the most. That’s why it’s so essential to know your partner’s love language so you can love them well!
Sunny Motamedi, Psy.D., a marriage and family therapist, states that “We all may relate to most of these languages, but each of us has one that speaks to us the most. Discovering you and your partner’s primary love language and speaking that language regularly may [create] a better understanding of each other’s needs and support each other’s growth.”
The 5 love languages include:
- Words of Affirmation
- Physical Touch
- Acts of Service
- Quality Time
Let’s further break down each love language and how you can incorporate them into nonverbal communication so your partner can feel the love without you even having to say it.
This particular love language is associated with any type of physical sign of affection, such as kissing, holding hands, cuddling, hugging, or sex.
Those with physical touch as their primary love language long for the affirming touch of their partner to create a powerful connection with them. Some people are only able to feel deep affection or love when they are being held, kissed, or touched.
This is a perfect example of how you can tell your partner you love them without verbally saying it. Instead, give them a long, bear hug when you see them. Cover them in kisses. Massage their feet after a long day. Cuddle with them on the couch. All of these small things communicate feelings of love.
Words of Affirmation
Though this involves communicating verbally, it doesn’t all have to just be those three words of, “I love you.” If your partner’s main love language is words of affirmation this means that they value verbal acknowledgments of affection.
These acknowledgments can include anything from the reassurance of the relationship to words of appreciation of your partner, encouragement, or affirming their feelings and hurts. Your partner values words—and that’s a beautiful thing!
Make sure you’re meeting their needs and clarifying when you’re not. Affirmation doesn’t just mean saying “I love you”, but for the people with words of affirmation as their primary love language, they will appreciate and feel loved if you shower them with kind and intentional words.
Acts of Service
This love language is defined as when someone goes out of their way to make the other person feel good, make their life easier, or lend them a helping hand. Another great way to tell your partner you love them without saying it is doing these acts of service. Any of these would be an example of such:
- Cleaning the house before your partner gets home
- Bringing them breakfast in bed when they aren’t feeling well
- Picking up the groceries when they had a long day at work
It’s these small acts of service that can really communicate your utmost love for someone. The famous saying goes, “Actions speak louder than words.” And for people with this as a primary love language that couldn’t be more true! They’d prefer actions over you saying just I love you anyway. Show them you love them by doing a kind act of service for them each day.
Gifts are visual symbols of love and that’s the perfect way to put it! For the people with gifts as a primary love language, they feel most loved when people take the time to pick out the perfect gift.
Gifts are not about monetary value, but rather the symbolic thought and effort behind them. When you really know and love someone, the gifts you give them can be specialized, customized, and memorable. Not just a gift card to a store because you couldn’t think of anything, but someone that you know your partner would genuinely love. And gifts don’t have to be huge or outlandish, but as simple as a bouquet of sunflowers, a bracelet you handmade, or a scrapbook you made of the two of you.
Many people value receiving gifts because of the careful consideration, deliberate choices, and emotional ties to the gift that the gift may represent. People like to know they’re being listened to when they speak and are fully known.
If your partner has mentioned in the past their love for baking but no means of actually doing it, consider gifting them a stand mixer so they can begin their baking journey. Whatever it is you gift them, let it be intentional, creative, and memorable.
Unsure how to communicate to your partner how much you love them without just saying it? Quality time is a great alternative! For those who have quality time as their primary love language, they feel most loved and adored when their partner wants to spend time with them.
This doesn’t mean a 24/7 date all year round but rather being next to that person while you run errands or pick up groceries, or having a date night filled with intentional questions.
They like to know you’re fully there and your mind isn’t elsewhere while you’re with them. If your partner’s main love language is quality time, make sure you’re spending uninterrupted time with them without the distractions of the phone, TV, or other forms of media. Make sure you’re engaging in conversation by asking questions, nodding, and actively listening.
What If I Don’t Know My Partner’s Love Language?
If you’re unsure of what your or your partner’s love language is, take the Love Language Quiz that was created by the author himself. After you take this quiz, share your results with each other so that moving forward you’re more attuned to your partner’s needs and you can ensure they’re feeling loved all the time even if you don’t say it.
Celebrate Their Accomplishments
Your partner just got the new job they’ve been waiting for forever and they are so excited about it. Or maybe they just passed a really hard exam or even graduated school. Whatever accomplishment they might have achieved, make sure you celebrate them with them!
Be their biggest supporter, number one fan, and cheerleader, and when they do get wins, make sure they feel celebrated for all their hard work and accomplishments. This will make them feel incredibly loved and appreciated knowing that you care about all the aspects of their life.
Celebrating with someone doesn’t mean you have to throw them a surprise party (though that would be amazing) or take them out to an expensive dinner (which would also be amazing), it just means letting them know how genuinely proud you are of them and that their hard work pays off. When you love someone, their happiness is your happiness. And further, their accomplishments are your accomplishments. Make them feel on top of the world when something great comes their way. They’ll thank you for it.
Make an Effort To Know the People in Their Lives
Showing effort goes a long, long way. Especially when it refers to making a conscious effort to know the people in their lives. By “know” we don’t just mean know their names and association to your partner, but rather actually know them as individuals.
When you meet their friends, become friends with them too. Get to know each individual for who they are, their hobbies, likes, and dislikes, and become more ingrained into your partner’s life this way. And when you meet their family, go the extra mile of really getting to know the family.
Sit down with their mom and ask her questions about where she grew up and how she liked it. Play golf with their dad and ask him his favorite parts of the town he lives in. Play dress-up or tea parties with their siblings and build a connection with them.
Your partner will see the effort and feel incredibly loved knowing you want to be in their lives and build a life with them.
Lay Pride Aside
When disagreements come, be slow to anger and quick to listen. We as humans have an innate instinct to always want to prove ourselves or be right. It’s hard for us sometimes to say we were wrong or to apologize when we are. But by laying your pride aside during arguments instead of always having to be right, your partner will recognize this effort and appreciate you for it.
Relationships should be two people working together on the same team, not the opposing teams. So when bickering and disagreements happen, instead of viewing it as something to “win,” view it as something to learn.
Laying your pride aside can also look like knowing when and how to apologize. Apologizing when you’ve hurt your partner is crucial in maintaining a healthy relationship. Love is shown when you show humility and admit your wrongs.
Gift Them With the Lovebox
The perfect gift doesn’t exist...oh wait, we spoke too soon! The Lovebox is an incredible way to tell your partner you love them without saying it and here’s how!
The Lovebox is the world’s first love note messenger. It’s a connected messaging device that pairs with an app to go beyond regular communication and deliver instant expressions of affection, even from a distance. With the Lovebox, you can send pictures of the two of you together to it, personalized stickers, silly or cute drawings, and so much more! You can even plan ahead and schedule out certain messages to be sent.
One of the parts of the Lovebox that makes it so creative and interactive is that when you send a message through the app to the Lovebox, the heart on the front of the box will spin, indicating that they’ve got mail.
All your partner has to do next is to lift the lid to see the sweet message or photo you sent them. Once they receive your message, they can spin the heart back and it will send a waterfall of hearts to your phone, making you both smile.
Throughout the day, as a way to show your partner you’re thinking of them, send them a personalized and sweet sticker, love note, or photo. When they see it, it will communicate that you’re thinking about them and that you love them.
Sure, you could shoot them a text during the day to let them know you’re thinking of them, but the Lovebox makes communication fun, intentional, and creates anticipation. This gift has the ability to show repeated showings of affection. Ask them out on a date through the Lovebox and they’ll feel like they just received a love note in the mail. Schedule out cute and encouraging messages so that you’ll be there for every important moment even when you’re not physically there. Make them laugh through the silly drawings you send.
Telling your partner you love them without saying I love you doesn’t have to be hard, and with the Lovebox, it just got a lot easier.
Be Interested in Their Interests
Sure, baseball isn’t really your thing, or maybe you don’t really care for poetry, but it’s your partner’s favorite thing. Be interested in their interests—or at least show interest. You don’t have to fall in love with the sport of hockey or understand the complexities of chemistry to love someone well, but when they bring it up with excitement, listen to them with matched excitement. Ask questions about what they’re interested in and try to really understand something new.
Not only will you have a better understanding of who they are as a person, and hopefully fall more in love with them, but you’ll learn a new skill or a new fact! If they want to go to a new art class that just opened up, join them.
If they want to go to a trivia night for their favorite TV show that you’ve never watched, join them anyway. They’ll really appreciate you wanting to tag along and feel loved when you show interest in what they’re interested in.
Be Kind and Courteous
If you want to be a good partner and show them you love them, first be a kind and courteous person. If you are, you will naturally be someone that your partner feels safe and loved with. Kindness extends to all aspects of life, not just relationships, as well as being courteous.
In your relationship, being kind and courteous can mean many things such as:
- Holding the door open for them
- Complimenting them
- Supporting their dreams, no matter how big
- Making them coffee in the morning
- Do one of their chores they normally hate
- Give them a massage
- Kiss them hello and kiss them goodbye
Kindness and courtesy go beyond just these few examples, but tailor it to your individual partner, and they will automatically feel loved by how you hold yourself as a person.
Most people love surprises (check to make sure your partner does though) and doing small, or big, things to surprise them will communicate to them that you love them.
Small surprises could include:
- Showing up at their work with a home-cooked lunch
- A date night fully planned out
- Wake up to a text that says “I’m outside with coffee!”
Big surprises could include:
- Flying out to see them if you’re long distance
- Throwing them a surprise birthday party
- Planning a trip for the weekend for the two of you
Love Goes Beyond Words
Sometimes, words just don’t cut it. You want to communicate to your partner how much you love them but those three words of, “I love you”, don’t seem to be enough.
Luckily, there are ways you can communicate your love to them without having to say it. By knowing their love languages, by being their friend, showing up for them, celebrating their accomplishments, laying your pride aside when needed, maybe purchasing them a unique gift like the Lovebox, or being interested in their interests, your partner will know that you love them and love you more because of it.