Whether you and your high school sweetheart are a couple of hours away or a couple of time zones away, you’ve probably wondered how your long-distance relationship (LDR) will work while you and your boyfriend or girlfriend are both in high school.
Chances are you’ve already been thinking about your “LDR” and have worries about what will happen after you both graduate. For example, will you go to the same college or different colleges? Will you spend the holidays and breaks apart or together as college students?
These are all excellent questions to ask yourself. Because long-distance couples can be tricky, it’s necessary to talk about the future of your romantic relationship. All LDRs are unique. However, they aren’t any more special than any other type of relationship in terms of wants or needs.
With LDRs, it just takes some extra thought and planning to make sure you and your high school partner set realistic expectations for your relationship long term.
So, How Do I Make My High School Long-Distance Relationship Work?
Unfortunately, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all guide for a healthy long-distance high school relationship. But don’t despair: All relationships have similar needs and challenges that arise regardless of age or distance. One of the main difficulties for LDRs is how to bridge the gap, precisely the communication gap.
Fortunately, there are more ways than ever to keep in touch. Thanks to modern technology, we have FaceTime, social media, email, texting, and, yes, even good old-fashioned phone calls.
How you choose to communicate isn’t as important as what you communicate. Practice active listening as a habit when you are on a call with your S.O. Talk about your needs and wants with your long distance boyfriend or girlfriend. Be sure to ask each other vital questions about your futures on video chat or Zoom.
Important Questions To Consider
You and your sweetheart may constantly be asking each other questions such as:
- How often should we text, call, or email?
- How often should we talk during the day/at night?
- How do we divide up visits to see each other?
- Is someone chipping in on the cost of visiting one another?
- How involved should you be in each other’s post-high school decisions?
- How will we maneuver different time zones, if applicable?
These are excellent questions to ask in an LDR and any long-term relationship. It’s often up to each couple to decide what they are both comfortable with in terms of communication needs. If both partners feel loved and supported with your chosen level of contact, then whatever you choose is perfect.
Similarly, discussing what each other should do over spring break and holidays can be a touchy subject. No matter how committed you are in your relationship, there are still a lot of expectations over breaks to prepare for college and spend time with family.
Again, that’s not a bad thing, nor does it mean you don’t want to make sacrifices for your partner. Yet, it’s also essential to have a life outside of your LDR.
10 Tips to Make Long-Distance Relationships Work in High School
Okay, now we know the importance of tackling complex conversation topics in your long-distance high school relationship.
So let’s keep reading to find out how to make your long-distance relationship with your high school sweetheart thrive, not just survive!
1. Talk About the Future Together
You’ve both probably thought about where you want to go to college. Whether or not you wish to take a gap year or start working right away.
Maybe one of you wants to backpack Europe before starting your college career. Perhaps one of you is unsure what they want to do in their teenage years and is waiting until closer to graduation during senior year of high school.
All these options are entirely excellent post-high school choices. The question is, where do you see yourself living in the near future? Where do you want to live, and who would have to move to be closer to each other? Do you see yourself making a huge life-changing decision immediately after high school?
These are tough questions for anyone, so don’t get overwhelmed.
As long as you stay open and honest with each other as you make your decisions, you won’t have too many surprises at the last minute. Always be willing to listen to any idea your partner has about their future with a willingness to support them in the decision they make.
2. Trust One Another
Sounds easy, right? Trusting one another in a long-distance high school relationship is a daily decision that fuels intimacy. LDRs make it easy to become strangely suspicious of your partner. Any fear, insecurities, or anxiety can quickly surface because you don’t see your loved one regularly.
Although trust is essential in any relationship, it’s especially vital in an LDR. An excellent way to overcome any trust issues is to openly communicate each other’s feelings and fears.
Since you are far away from each other, find specific times to hear each other’s voices or find out how their day is going. Staying in constant communication, but not excessive, says to each other that you love them and are thinking of them.
3. Focus On Your Own Lives
During your high school years, there are a lot of self-discoveries. You’re figuring out who you are and what you enjoy in life. But, unfortunately, it’s easy to lose yourself in following someone else’s plans.
It’s easy to follow your partner’s plans in any relationship, particularly in LDRs, because you miss each other so much. It’s normal to want to go where your partner goes and do what they do, but make sure you are still your own person in the process.
Encourage each other to try new things. Find learning experiences you can do together and separately. The main thing is to have fun. Not sure how to get involved in activities on your own?
Here are a few suggestions:
- Join a club that interests you
- See a movie with friend
- Be active in school activities and events
- Study hard
- Make new friends
- Spend time with your family
- Spend time with your pets
- Learn a new skill or hobby
You’ll only be at home for a few years. So now is the time to enjoy spending time with your friends and family. Talk to your partner about your new experiences and what you’ve learned.
4. Find Ways To Celebrate
Learn to celebrate every milestone and achievement in your relationship and personal life. Celebrating your relationship means you both appreciate how far you have come and where you are going.
Milestones are the perfect opportunity to ensure you are not taking each other for granted. It’s important to celebrate everything. Distance shouldn’t change that.
Furthermore, make sure that you celebrate each other’s victories, no matter how big or small, throughout the week. For example, maybe one of you made a good grade on an intense test. Or, perhaps you got accepted into your dream university.
Learn to be each other’s cheerleaders and most prominent supporters. Inspire each other to achieve more and reach each other’s goals. In any healthy relationship, be open to supporting each other to be the best version of themselves.
5. Talk About Boundaries
When people in relationships with their high school sweethearts live closer together, it’s easier to have dedicated free time and dedicated time to spend together. However, it’s essential in an LDR to remember that each needs free time.
Just because you both may have free time at home at the end of a long day of class and practice doesn’t mean you have to be talking on the phone or texting. Maybe you need to study or just want to unwind and binge a show.
Learn to appreciate this geographic separation for both of you to focus on school and each other when together. It’s a particular time in both of your lives. You have freedom and autonomy, as well as an appreciation for the love and support of your partner.
Being separated by physical distance also provides an excellent opportunity for you both to perform better academically and in any extracurricular activities.
That being said, finding time to spend together far apart helps you feel closer. For example, if you both like to read, try to read a book the other recommends and then talk about it. Watch a movie on Skype at the same time while you’re both chilling at home.
Find activities such as video games or social media apps you can enjoy together when you want to spend some time together. Figuring out each other’s boundaries works in any relationship—balance is key.
6. Send Each Other Care Packages
High school can be a challenging time in anyone's life. Encourage each other regularly by sending their favorite non-perishable snacks, school supplies, or cute tokens of love and affection. Who doesn’t love getting a cute, cuddly teddy bear or fuzzy blanket when you are missing your long-distance S.O.?
Postage can be expensive when mailing a package, so one affordable way to let your long-distance high school sweetheart know you are thinking of them is to send an e-gift card to get their favorite coffee or lunch at their favorite restaurant. Of course, they will appreciate any gesture of love and affection because it truly is the thought that counts.
7. Acknowledge Their Family and Friends
Sometimes your S.O. needs to spend time with their family and go on vacations with their family. It can be difficult when you are long-distance to be willing to share your partner’s free time.
But, remember they are still at home and have responsibilities and commitments to their parents. So, encourage your S.O. to spend time with their siblings, parents, and grandparents while they are still at home.
Try to get to know your partner’s friends and keep up with what is going on in their lives. Their family and friends may be unsure of your relationship at first. It’s helpful if you get to visit each other, take time to meet their parents, siblings, and friends.
Meeting everyone and spending time together will help ease everyone’s mind about your relationship. Remember to have fun meeting everyone—It can be intimidating at first, but once everyone gets to know each other, you can have fun together and grow your relationship.
8. Attend Each Other’s Events When Possible
Try to visit your S.O. for any special events or ceremonies if physically possible. High school is a special time in both of your lives. There are plenty of band concerts, sports events, and choir concerts to attend. And don’t forget graduation!
Although it may be difficult depending on how far away you live from each other, try to plan to come to one of their events throughout high school. It might be a good idea to discuss your plans with their family and friends before traveling to ensure they don’t have any conflicting schedules.
If you are planning to surprise them at an event, double-check with someone the plan for the event before booking your flight. You may have to arrange tickets or housing for you ahead of time. And, of course, always ask your S.O. what event is most important to them, and plan to cheer them on.
9. Have Faith Everything Will Work Out
All relationships require commitment and patience. An LDR is no different. Whenever you feel discouraged or lonely, just have a little faith in yourself, your relationship, and your S.O. One of the benefits of an LDR is that you have to think and figure yourself out without the pressure of what the other person is doing every moment of the day.
Also, spending time geographically in separate locations will only strengthen your love.
You will learn to talk through the hard times, cry with each other when you are sad, and laugh when you are happy. Keeping your connection strong is one of the best ways to maintain a strong faith in your relationship.
Timing is everything. Now is the time for you both to have faith in the people you are becoming to be the best versions of yourself for each other. The best part of an LDR is the special connection you have with each other that no one can tear apart. Have faith in the process, and you’ll both be better for it!
10. Have Fun with Communication
Texting and FaceTiming can get pretty dull pretty quickly. When this happens, look for ways to spice up your communication and get creative. We’ve got the perfect answer for exploring new ways to send expressions of love and affection to your long-distance high school sweetheart: our Lovebox Original Color & Photo.
A unique messaging device pairs with our free easy-to-use app to deliver instant love notes.
Sending love notes through our special Lovebox system creates a unique messaging system for just the two of you. Personalization, of course, is key. With Lovebox Original Color & Photo, you can send real postcards, digital love notes, cute stickers, silly messages, drawings, and even photos! With a bit of creativity and imagination, you can create the perfect system that works for your relationship.
So how does Lovebox work?
In the Lovebox app, you can create and send your special love note to your S.O. When they receive your note, the spinny heart on their Lovebox will spin until they read your message. Then, your S.O. can send you a shower of hearts in response to let you know they got your message.
The Lovebox Color & Photo is fully customizable so that you can choose from any number of spinnies for your partner’s Lovebox. The best part?
You can schedule your sweet messages in advance and even set reminders for yourself to send your S.O. a love note. It’s perfect for wanting to send a sweet good morning message or good night message, but you have to get to practice early and don’t want to forget.
Love Knows No Bounds
There you have it: Our best ways to make a long-distance relationship work in high school. All relationships are hard work, but with planning and a little bit of creativity, you and your high school sweetheart can have a healthy, loving relationship no matter how far apart you may live from each other.
Be sure to communicate your needs and feelings on a regular, open basis. Set boundaries you are comfortable with and find time to spend together and spend on yourself. When texting gets dull, find new creative ways to communicate, such as the Lovebox Original Color & Photo—the perfect way to send the sweetest love notes to your favorite person.
Be sure to sign up for our newsletter to get our latest tips, updates, and Lovebox news. Plus, you get 10% off your first order when you sign up!
How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work | Teen Vogue
Long Distance Relationships | Penn State Behrend
Can Your High School Relationship Survive College? | NBC News